How to Deal with DCF Accusing Your Partner of Child Sexual Abuse
The best way to handle false DCF sexual abuse allegations against your spouse is to have a plan. You have to plan for how to get rid of the allegations while keeping your family safe and intact. It is also important to show your partner support during this difficult time. But make sure the allegations are totally false before you do anything else. When you are too frustrated, confused and overwhelmed to come up with a plan, hire an experienced DCF attorney to take care of the situation for you.
What if You Know The Sexual Abuse Allegations Are Completely False?
Every time DCF gets a report of child sexual abuse, they take it extremely seriously. You should too. As a parent, it is your responsibility to put your child’s needs above your own. Regardless of whether or not the allegations are true, you should protect your child first at all costs. When DCF accuses your partner of sexually abusing your child, you must prove to DCF that your child comes first. To do that, make sure your partner leaves the home and no longer has any contact with the child. When DCF accuses your partner of sexually abusing your child, you have to make sure your child is now far away from your partner, even if the allegations are completely false.
DCF Told You to Take Out a Restraining Order Against Your Partner?
Unfortunately, there are times when DCF asks you to take out a restraining order against your partner because of the sexual abuse allegations. The social worker may even go as far as to tell you if you do not take out a restraining order, then they will remove your children. When DCF asks you to take out this restraining order, do your best to cooperate with DCF. You can take out the restraining order, but respectfully tell DCF that you are only doing this so that your children are protected. There will be a hearing for the restraining order which will take place in front of a judge. When you get in court, tell the judge at the hearing that the only reason you took out the restraining order was because DCF told you they would remove your child if you did not take it out. Tell the judge you are not in fear of your partner at all, and tell the judge all the good things about them. Then, the judge can get DCF off your back about the restraining order. You should hire an experienced DCF lawyer to make sure you are doing all of this correctly.
Can DCF Remove Your Child Because You Refused to Take Out a Restraining Order?
Yes, DCF does have the power to do this. When you refuse to take out a restraining order against your partner, DCF can go to court and get a judge to sign off on removing your child from your home. DCF can tell the judge that they are worried about the child being at the home with an alleged child sexual abuser. The judge will side with the Department, because DCF is “looking out for the best interests of the child”. DCF’s priority is to look out for the best interests of the child. They are not on the parent’s side. When you go against what DCF is saying, DCF thinks you don’t have your child’s best interests at heart.
What If Your Child is the One Who Falsely Accused Your Partner?
You must take the allegations seriously even when you know your child is not telling the truth about the sexual abuse. Don’t be upset with your child and do not try to punish them. Instead, try to talk it out with them. Calmly ask them about the situation. Try to get to the bottom of why they would make these statements. Maybe they feel badly about themselves, or maybe they were looking for your attention. It could be a good idea to put your child in therapy to make sure their issues get addressed. The bottom line is that even if your child accused your lovely partner who would never do something like this, you should still choose to be on your child’s side above all else.
How Can You Support Your Child AND Your Accused Partner at the Same Time?
It can be a nightmare of a situation when Massachusetts DCF is involved in your life, regardless of what the allegations are. There are several ways you can support both, your children and your spouse when there are false DCF sexual abuse allegations against your spouse. But you must put your children first. You don’t have to turn against your spouse, but don’t support them at your child’s expense. Try your best to be understanding and cooperating with your spouse while also maintaining a healthy environment for your child. If you can do that, you can achieve anything.
Communicate
Sometimes, the allegations are completely out of the blue and not consistent at all with your partner’s character. In that case, try to have an honest discussion with them and talk about the situation. Communication in a relationship or marriage can become fragile during such difficult times. It is best to show empathy to your partner during these tough times and not blame them for DCF being in your and your child’s life. Empathy is key in reminding your spouse that they are not alone. It’s understandable if you are upset with your spouse over false sexual abuse allegations, but do not resent them because of them. It is important to remember that you know your spouse is still a loving parent. Let them continue to be a parent to your children.
Maintain a Healthy Home Environment
During these stressful times, it is important to make sure your home remains a healthy environment for your family. Often, even if the children don’t understand exactly what is going on, they can sense the tension in the air and read unhappy faces. Keep your children out of all the arguments you have with your partner about the allegations. Children can become distant from their parents during these cases not only because of the allegations, but also because of how they reacted.
Try to do activities with your children at home, like arts and crafts. Have family time and eat meals together at home. Do your best to keep the atmosphere positive and make your children feel like your family is unbreakable.
Unconditional love
DCF allegations can bring out an aggressive side to you which you never knew you had. Showing DCF that side of you increases the chances of DCF taking your child away. Make sure you constantly remind your partner and children that you love them no matter what during this time. The love you have for your spouse and children can defeat any obstacle. Keep communicating and being respectful to your spouse in front of your child. This will not only lead you to have a happier relationship with your partner, it will also teach your child the importance of respect and. Be true to yourself, your children, and your partner. It is in your power to get the right outcome for your DCF case.
Don’t Try To Offer Advice
Unless your partner specifically asks you for advice, don’t give them any. False allegations can make us feel helpless, and sometimes cause us to give unsolicited advice. However, this can do more harm than you intend and bring more stress on your spouse. The best advice for your spouse during this time is legal advice. Remember, DCF sexual abuse allegations almost always mean criminal charges will be filed too. Your spouse should speak to an experienced attorney to figure out how they should proceed in the case. A lawyer will tell them the consequences of the allegations, and guide them through what they should do to get rid of the allegations.
How Can Your Partner Successfully Fight Against the Sexual Abuse Allegations?
Your most successful chance at fighting the sexual abuse allegations is to cooperate with DCF. Even when you are 100% sure that the sexual abuse allegations against your partner are completely false, it is important to still cooperate with DCF. You have to let DCF complete their investigation. When they do the right thing and find out the allegations are false, DCF will “unsupport” the allegations, which means the allegations will never show up on your partner’s permanent record. In the case where DCF decides to support the allegations when they are totally false, your partner has the right to appeal the decision through a DCF Fair Hearing. The DCF Fair Hearing will take place in front of an impartial third party who acts as the judge. They are actually known as “Fair Hearing Officers”.
What Will Happen at the DCF Fair Hearing?
During the DCF Fair Hearing, your partner can present all their side of the story. They can also bring all the evidence they have which helps their case. DCF will present their findings as well and try to explain to the Fair Hearing Officer why they were right about the sexual abuse allegations. The Fair Hearing Officer then decides who to believe. It is extremely unlucky when DCF penalizes someone for totally false allegations. The best way to make sure your Fair Hearing ends successfully is to hire an experienced lawyer to handle it for you.
Should You Hire an Attorney?
Attorneys deal with false accusations all the time. So they know how to get the truth out and what to say and not to say. DCF allegations of child sexual abuse can cause extreme distress for both you and your partner. Sexual abuse allegations often destroy marriages; they create a barrier between you and your partner. When you hire an experienced DCF attorney to fight the allegations, you do not have to sacrifice your marriage to keep your children. You do not have to choose between your child and your spouse because your attorney will fight for you to have it all.
Kevin Seaver is an experienced Massachusetts DCF lawyer specialized in DCF law since 1991. 
DISCLAIMER
You find yourself in this situation, it’s advisable to seek legal representation from a qualified attorney, like those at the Law Office of Kevin Seaver, who can advocate for your rights and guide you through the complex process of a DCF investigation.
Remember that the ultimate goal of DCF is to ensure the safety and well-being of children while supporting families in crisis.
Please note that this article does not create an Attorney-Client relationship between our law firm and the reader and is provided for informational purposes only. Information in this article does not apply to all readers.
Readers should not rely on this information as legal advice and should seek specific counsel from the attorney based on personal circumstances. Thank you.
Kevin Patrick Seaver is a Massachusetts DCF Defense Lawyer who represents parents against false child abuse allegations.
Massachusetts DCF Defense Lawyer Kevin Seaver has been successfully fighting false child abuse allegations since 1991.