Which Parenting Skills Will Keep MA DCF Out of Your Life Forever?
The Massachusetts Department of Children and Families (MA DCF) are trusted to protect children from parents who can’t take care of them. But sometimes, MA DCF has the wrong idea about parents. They take one minor incident or one slip up as evidence that the parents can’t properly care for their children. So even though DCF is supposed to keep families together, they break families apart quite often. Read more to find out what parenting skills will help to avoid DCF allegations. You can also use this skills to have a happier and healthier relationship with your children!
Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem
One of the most important things to remember is that your words and actions as a parent affect your child’s developing self-esteem more than anything else. Although most parents praise their child for enormous accomplishments, remember that the smaller successes are just as important. Praises for minor accomplishments help your child feel proud while letting them do small things help them become independent and capable. When you do this out in public, the community can see that you are uplifting your child and contributing to their emotional stability and growth.
This is important because if DCF opens a case against you, they will have to speak to “collaterals”, who are people who are familiar with the reported family, to get a better understanding of the situation. When MA DCF speaks to these people, they will know how you boost your child’s self esteem. Then, they will view your parenting more favorably. Try to never put your child down, especially out in public. Avoid making loaded statements or using your words to hurt your child. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do” may cause emotional damage to your child.
Setting Limits And Being Consistent With Discipline
Sometimes, it is necessary for a parent to set limits and discipline their child. Knowing the right way to discipline your child helps to keep MA DCF away. Remember that the goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults.
DCF cares about you disciplining your child and setting appropriate limits for them. This is because DCF knows children need some kind of discipline to grow up to be productive members of society. But DCF also wants to make sure you don’t go overboard with the discipline to the extent that you risk putting your child in any emotional, mental or physical harm.
One of the safest and easiest ways to establish discipline is setting rules for your child. Setting rules creates that sense of consistency and predictability. Your child will be aware of what is and is not allowed and act accordingly. Of course your child may try to push those limits. When that happens, do not turn to harmful physical or emotional discipline tactics. Instead, have a system for when your children disobey the house rules. For example, you can decide to give them a warning, followed by consequences such as a “time out” or loss of privileges. When you cause any sort of physical and emotional damages to your child, you are risking someone noticing that and reporting it to DCF.
Show Your Child That Your Love is Unconditional
There are many helpful and effective parenting techniques, but unconditionally loving your child trumps them all. Make sure your child knows that at the end of the day, whatever happens, you will always be there to support, help and take care of them. As a parent, you can’t set unrealistic expectations for your child. It will only make you feel like your child has “let you down”. Then your child becomes emotionally scarred for feeling like they are not enough for their own parent. It is okay to want your child to succeed, but make sure they know that you will still care for them if they fail.
When you have to confront your child about something they did wrong or failed at, avoid blaming or criticizing them. Those actions will just lower your child’s self-esteem and can lead them to resent you. Always try to nurture and encourage your kids, even when disciplining them. If you are in a situation with DCF, make sure DCF is aware that you love your child unconditionally. When you do that, DCF will notice the bond you share with your child and they will be less likely to remove you child from your home.
Are There Major Differences in Healthy and Unhealthy Parental Behaviors?
Yes, there are major differences between healthy and unhealthy parenting behaviors. When DCF is investigating families, they are typically looking for a parent or caregiver that can sensitively and consistently respond to the needs of the child. Healthy parenting behaviors are ones that accomplish that. Unhealthy behaviors on the other hand, do not adequately support a child’s needs.
Healthy Parental Behaviors for MA DCF:
- Being supportive
- Clear, consistent, and developmentally appropriate expectations
- Being warm and positive
- Seeing the child as a unique individual,
- Having open but appropriate communication with your child
Unhealthy Parental Behaviors for MA DCF:
- Being overly intrusive or controlling
- Unclear or developmentally inappropriate expectations
- Ignoring the child’s needs and wants
- Being unreliable
- Hostile, threatening, and frightening your child
Having healthy parenting habits help you to keep DCF out of your life. But it also helps strengthen your bond with your child!
Kevin Seaver is a trusted Massachusetts DCF lawyer specialized in DCF law since 1991. 
DISCLAIMER
You find yourself in this situation, it’s advisable to seek legal representation from a qualified attorney, like those at the Law Office of Kevin Seaver, who can advocate for your rights and guide you through the complex process of a DCF investigation.
Remember that the ultimate goal of DCF is to ensure the safety and well-being of children while supporting families in crisis.
Please note that this article does not create an Attorney-Client relationship between our law firm and the reader and is provided for informational purposes only. Information in this article does not apply to all readers.
Readers should not rely on this information as legal advice and should seek specific counsel from the attorney based on personal circumstances. Thank you.
Kevin Patrick Seaver is a Massachusetts DCF Defense Lawyer who represents parents against false child abuse allegations.
Massachusetts DCF Defense Lawyer Kevin Seaver has been successfully fighting false child abuse allegations since 1991.